Going Up In Smoke by Ashley Mackenzie

Solitary Figure in a Theatre, Edward Hopper

Caravaggio, Calling of St. Matthew, 1600
"Listen – this is what you needed and what you wanted. Sometimes, we just go through with the things that give us some sort of balance. It doesn’t matter if it’s real. It doesn’t matter if it’s true. What matters is , that we did not choose that what gives us imbalance. It doesn’t matter if the balance is right. It just doesn’t. and it’s sad. I can’t help but feeling sad. Would we have been everything and all? Maybe we would. But I see now, my friend, that our interpretation of “all” has gone deeply separate ways. It is as it is. What an agonizing sentence. What a painful thought. “it is as it is”. And yet, I am saying this to you. Because it is, as it is. Reality is rather painful than acceptable. And yet we have to live through it, try to get through it. Get through there and get through here.
It is funny though, that we can already know, that we are going to look back,burning with torment, on moments that we couldn’t even have imagined to remember.
It is funny though, that agonizing sentences get said so often that they transform into clichés and clichés transform into illusionary thoughts that by then, we see as less of a truth.
For what it’s worth, I do know better. But I’d rather had believed less."
"But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human."
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (via versteur)

(Source: larmoyante, via langleav)


Dóra Maurer
Seven Twists (1979)